I want an apartment I saw today. I want it baaaaad, so very very bad. And it might be mine! But I don’t know because it’s not my decision to make, so I’m reminding myself of the life wisdom of staying unattached to the outcome; repeating a mantra given by a friend, “what is mine will come to me with ease.”
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And yet my imagination, she can’t stop playing with wall color palettes...c’est la vie. (When I asked about painting, my hopeful landlord said the words, “I want you to treat it like your own house.” HELLO 😍) Playing interior designer is just so darn fun. But the trying with the non-clinging is helping my emotions nonetheless!
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Juju sends appreciated! (And thoughts on an orange room? I tend to go cool, but want to warm up to the warm chakra tones...) Good nighty night 😘✴️
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#attachment #clingy #spirituality #spiritualgangsta #buddha #whatisminewillalign #loa #manifestation #apartmenthunt #apartmenthunting #chakras #sacralchakra #colortherapy #interiordesign
About four years ago, a friend of mine visited me in Portland, where I’d been slowly getting progressively sicker — a strange process that’s progress is hard to gauge without partner nor medical help, and her stoic reaction to a *very* thrilling story I’d told her was very telling; denying something was seriously wrong wouldn’t last much longer.
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But that momentous story, it thrilled me!! Ready? Even though I hadn’t called in sick all week, the Saturday before I’d done errands, died my hair, cooked, *and* did a DIY project — all in one lil’ day. FOUR things! BONKERS, right?!? (And I didn’t even know what a #spoonie was, let alone that I was one 🤣) Well, I had me another one of those awesomely productive days today and it was mighty glorious.
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After an awesome full moon reiki meditation at @thesaltloungelb last night, I woke up early feeling weirdly good. (#fibromyalgia) I had a full self-care morning: qigong, meditation, tarot, sunny reading sans sunglasses (melatonin regulation attempt), and “unsorting” — checking all my email, notifications, news, and tidying up my space. This takes awhile.
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BUT THEN, I still hit up Target; buying essentials that’d become luxury items in crisis — like weights for my daily conditioning (vs these 📸 yrs-old cans, haha) and undergarments that aren’t 2 sizes too big, #oversharedontcare. (Also go go profanity-laced personal development #howilostallmyfucks 🙌)
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AND THEN I went to the beach, remembering to load my trunk up with nature-friendly shoes along with my beach bag. (Also note back seat photo: not for sleeping! #nevergoingback) The air was deliciously salty, with all kinds of beachy frolicking to watch.
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AND THEN I went to work! (#cannabiswriter) I finished up and sent off a couple essays I put a lot of work into, which always feels wonderful but the grounding act felt especially good after such a dreamy week. (This is real life, yo. Sustainable. MY life!) PLUS, I also made cannabis oil and got excited about my new business cards arriving. Grateful, grateful, grateful.
It’s another glorious day. I am now officially a vehicle’d individual, weeeeee! After nearly five months without a car in Southern California, survey says: fuck that noise. Nope. Don’t recommend it a bit, not fine holiday fun. Though that waiting sure did make today all the more satisfying. Ahhhh.
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It wasn’t a day without obstacles or surprises; she needs some love on two small issues, but my car guy (Louis at Movis Auto!) caught them up front, so I got the repair cost off the price, and it’ll be done this week so 👌. I’m happy that I’ll be giving him some business too, he really saved my booty when I was living in my Tussy car and she broke down. I’m really grateful for the ability to fix things before they’re even a problem. Surprises might be the worst part of poverty.
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Sooo, I’m a real real happy lady tonight. Happy and beaaaat. I’m not great at controlling my happy dancing, despite limited spoons! (#fibromyalgia, #spoonie) And as timing would have it — I’ve got very exciting potentials for tomorrow too. I don’t even want to tell you about it for fear of jinx. But send juju, please 🥰
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I’m beyond excited to have this car I’ve been visualizing for months, and so grateful that it worked out like it did. (I almost got one w/dealership financing for much more, like three times more for four years newer!) I own a hybrid car. I own a hybrid car. Doesn’t feel real yet, I’ve wanted one for nearly 20 years.
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I was feeling a little overwhelmed when I was getting her registered, at change, at making an investment; but then I got a sign. The number 222 has been following me around since my Tussy car died, a number symbolizing keeping the faith. It might sound silly; but it’s been truly stalkerish, well-timed and ever-y-where. Then today, at this random discount registration place chosen by the previous owner (who was delightful), right as I was like, “Aggghh shit is this right? WTF did I just do?!” — I was handed a receipt for $222.
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My Zaria car was meant to be mine. And now I’m free to roam about freely. (You totally know I’m seeing ocean tomorrow ❤️) Grateful, grateful, grateful. Good nighty night 😘
Oh happy day! After three years and ten months, the man has paid up at last. I nearly died in 2015 from congenital B12 deficiency; which teamed up with years of other trauma for a debilitating case of fibromyalgia. During my disability case I’ve been through years trapped alone in a secluded studio, 2 v scary hospital stays, 7 months of homelessness, and a complete rework of self — but I was essentially forced to save money from the worst fucking job ever, and payday has finalllly arrived. Phew.
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I’m no moneybags, but it feels woooonderful to be getting my debts settled and to have the ability to make my long-planned Long Beach move, wooooo! And a car, glorious wheels — freedom!! It’s only backpay for the worst period of the illness, so it feels serendipitous that it’s finally happening right as I’ve finally figured out how to make a decent paycheck in this health condition. (#cannabiswriter) Life upgrade of the long-term variety, check!
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I did remember to make you a weekly tarot video, but when I get excited I also get bajiggity in my nervous system (#spoonieproblems) and do silly things like accidentally record timelapse... D’oh! So, in text; early week = the emotional stability of the Queen of Cups, reflect, nurture, get spiritual. Midweek = the conviviality of the Queen of Wands, get social and connect. Weekend = Page of Swords (reversed), watch out for “foot in mouth,” a time for lessons in communication, youths may be sassy. (Better half-assed tarot than no-assed?)
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Grateful doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling tonight. It’s finally fucking over, guys. And I made it. Thank you so much to those that have come with me via this account, you’ll never know how much it’s meant to me. ❤️
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📸: I recorded my full qigong routine last week (intentional timelapse!) before I realized it was kicking my ass in a bad way. But I bet I rock it in full again, sans symptom flare, by Halloween 💪
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#qigong #spoonie #spoonielife #spooniecommunity #imadeit #ididit #imokay #grateful #thefeels #healingjourney #healthjourney #wellness #wellnessjourney #tarot #disability #health #ohhappyday #gratitude #getitgetit #movingonup
